Self Defense
by bukalay
Summary: What happens when Tsuna suddenly snaps against the bullies... Even the gentlest being can kill if provoked the wrong way...
1. Chapter 1

We all know how pathetic one Sawada Tsunayoshi can be. He trips on nothing, or on his own foot as he claims; the team he is on always losses, even if he does not even play; He has VERY low IQ and many more to mention which explains on why he has a large group of fan- err… bullies always waiting for him just about anywhere in Namimori. But this Sawada Tsunayoshi, also known as the affectionate alias 'Dame-Tsuna(1)', has one, rather big patience. What would happen if that 'oh so big patience' runs out, after all those battles and trainings he had.

* * *

Three weeks has passed since the chaos that Daemon ensued ended. Enma was already back in his hometown along with his guardians a week after the 'Vongola Betrayed Us' incident. As for Tsuna, who sustained much more damage than anyone, aside from Kaoru, was discharged three days after Enma and his famiglia bid their farewells. It was a good thing that Enma's ring merged with Tsuna' or he would have been dead during his fight with Daemon.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu Juudaime!"(2) one enthusiastic self-proclaimed right hand man said

"ahahha! Ohayou Tsuna!" the ever smiling baseball player greeted

"Ohayou Gokudera-kun! Ohayou Yamamoto!" Juudaime or Tsuna greeted back to his storm and rain guardians as he took a step outside of his house

"Ittekimasu"(3) Tsuna said, bidding goodbye to his mother

"Be careful" Nana replied sweetly

The trio began to walk towards Nami-chuu(4)

"Don't be so disrespectful to Juudaime yakyuu-bakka(5)!" The silverette glared angrily at the smiling boy

"maa maa, no harm done right?" the smiling baseball player just replied calmly to the glare he was given

The trio continued walking towards Namichuu

"ne Tsuna, I need to tell you something" Yamamoto instantly became serious

"What is it Yamamoto?"

"It's that I have a game in three weeks' time, and I missed practice due to being hospitalized and all…"

Tsuna knew where the conversation is going through, with the help of his Hyper-intuition of course

"It's alright Yamamoto, you can practice for the big game, it's the semi-finals right? Just don't overdo it"

"Thanks Tsuna, I owe you one" The rain guardian thanked his boss-friend as he ruffled the brunette's hair

"che, don't cause Juudaime anymore trouble yakyuu-bakka!" Gokudera muttered to himself

"maa, maa, this is only for the duration of the tournament" Takeshi said as he reverted back to his cheerful side

And as usual, Yamamoto's cheerfulness seems to strike Gokudera the wrong way, and that made the silverette to rant about everything, that does not even make sense. Well to someone looking from afar, you'd see a group with a brown haired boy watching his two friends bicker.

* * *

**PI PI PI PI PI PI PI**

Gokudera's red flip phone started ringing as the teacher went out

"moshi-moshi, hai, NANI! Wakata, ja(6)" were the only words spoken by the hurricane bomber while talking to someone on the phone

"Who was that Gokudera-kun?" the soon-to-be Vongola 10th asked his self-proclaimed right hand man

"It was my dynamite supplier Juudaime, he said that I would need to get my pre-ordered stocks personally since the plane that was supposed to deliver it today disappeared while in Mid-air… on top of the infamous Bermuda Triangle"

"It's okay Gokudera-kun, you can go, no one is telling you no to" Tsuna reassured his storm guardian

"I deeply apologize for this Juudaime! I swear on my position as your right hand man! I will make up for this! Hontouni Gomenasai!(7)" Gokudera started his 'I am sorry' monologue as he kneeled before his boss and banged his head on the cement floor… repeatedly

"Iie(8) It's okay Gokudera-kun, you can go now" Tsuna stopped his storm guardian from sustaining anymore damage and he let him go.

"What's up with that monkey?" Hana said as both she and Kyoko approached the Sky flame user

"Faster! Tsunayoshi! Come up with a believable lie!" Tsuna ranted in his head, trying his best to make up an excuse for the way Gokudera acted and left

"Hi-his father called for him, he said that his father is sick and he needs to get those fireworks to cheer his father" Tsuna lied as he started to sweat profusely

Hana seemed to have bought Reborn's student's lie but as for Kyoko, who already knew about Gokudera's resentment towards his father and how those fireworks she saw before were supposed to be dynamites, knew that her Tsuna-kun is lying, well she did got it from a very reliable source, but she won't question it, since she knew it was for the best, she knew because she had been left in the dark for the reasons she knew. She'd rather have her best friend's innocence still intact than let her know on her latest activities.

(line break)

After classes ended for the day, Gokudera immediately went to Italy to resupply his stocks of dynamites while Yamamoto, after saying goodbye to Tsuna, went to the baseball field to practice for the semi-finals. With nothing else to do, our favorite no-good boy went home immediately.

"Tsuna-kun!" Kyoko called out to Tsuna

"What is it Kyoko-chan?" the brunette immediately replied as he faced his Sun guardian's sister

"haaa! Kyoko-chan is calling out to me! Haaa" Tsuna thought as he imagined things with him and Kyoko alone…

…

…

…

…

…

…

In some park eating ice cream

"Anou, I'd like to take Lambo-chan an Ipin-chan with me today and Haru, we'd treat the kids today with Chocolates and Cakes" Kyoko said as she asked for permission to borrow the kids

"Sure, we'll go together to my house" Tsuna said as he smiled at her warmly

This made Kyoko blush a little, but the red tint on her cheeks are barely noticeable

Then the couple walked together side by side, both savoring the moment that was presented to them.

* * *

In some alleyway, a group of four boys and three girls watched the scene of Tsuna with Kyoko, unfold in front of them as they tried to hide their presence

"Grr! How dare he get closer to Sasagawa Kyoko-sama!" one boy with black hair said

"He even made Gokudera-sama kneel down before him!" a girl with red hair and pigtails gritted

"and he is too close to Yamamoto-sama!" another girl with black hair and ponytail said as she balled her fists

"come now girls, you can still hog those two, even if we left Dame-Tsuna alone" a bleached haired boy reasoned

"but he takes up most of their time! I heard that Yamamoto-sama missed more than half of the tournament games he was supposed to play, because of Dame-Tsuna" A blondy with curly hair rebutted the bleached haired boy.

"Since we already figured out why the girls want to beat up Dame-Tsuna so bad, what are our reasons boys?" Mochida said as he asked the group he was in about their reasons.

"He is pathetic!" another boy with red hair enthusiastically said

"A loser!" the bleached one said

"He is soo close to Sasagawa Kyoko-sama!" the raven haired boy said

"And our goal is?" Mochida asked again

"BEAT HIM TO PULP!" everyone in the group shouted in Unison, earning the are-they-on-drugs' stare of every passersby.

* * *

"Tsu-kun! Reborn-kun! Dinner!" Nana informed her son and his tutor about dinner being ready

"Hai! Be down in a sec!" Tsuna replied

**THUMP**

**THUMP**

**THUMP**

**THUMP**

**THUMP**

Tsuna fell down the stairs for nth time of his life and lay on the floor wincing in pain

"Ara Tsu-kun… Daijoubo desu ka?(9)" the mother asked her son

"itte te… Hai Daijoubo desu kaa-san(10)"

"That's why I told to watch your step Dame-Tsuna and stop complaining about my tortu-tutoring methods" the baby, dressed in a suit wearing a yellow pacifier as a necklace said as he landed softly on Tsuna's head

"Who in the world teaches their students and threaten them to explode a bomb inside your room every time he answers the wrong answer!" the Vongola tenth complained

"I do" was Reborn's simple reply

* * *

After eating dinner Reborn said something in all seriousness, while they are now inside Tsuna's room

"I'll be leaving for Italy, first thing in the morning tomorrow, I expect a 95 or higher when I return" the Sun Arcobaleno informed his student then fell asleep with his eyes still open.

Tsuna made his way towards his bed only to find 5 motion sensor bombs around Reborn/s makeshift bed

"I guess I'm sleeping on the floor then"

* * *

Dame-Tsuna= No good Tsuna

Ohayou Gozaimasu Juudaime= Good morning tenth!

Ittekimasu= I'll be going now

Nami-chuu= Namimori Middle School

yakyuu-bakka= baseball idiot

"moshi-moshi, hai, NANI! Wakata, ja"= "Hello, Yes, WHAT! I understand, later

Hontouni Gomenasai= I am deeply sorry

Iie= no

Daijoubo desu ka= Are you alright

Hai Daijoubo desu kaa-san= Yes, I'm fine, Mother

(line break)

A/N: This is still a draft… even if I already posted this… please do credit me, if you ever want to try out this idea…


	2. Chapter 2

It's still four thirty in the morning, and Reborn is already awake, gazing at Tsuna's innocent sleeping face, but since he needs to leave for Italy today, and feels like to torture his student one last time,before heading to Italy, he let a smirk appear on his face.

And yes! Our dear Tsunayoshi is sleeping on the floor and he is not on the futon.

Reborn decided to wake his student up…

He let Leon transform into one oversized hammer called the 'one megaton hammer' and slammed it unto the sleeping brunette's stomach. The expected reaction came, the brunette sat up, wide eyes, clutching his stomach in pain, but, the brunette lied down once again and slept once more as if thinking, it was just a dream.

"Interesting, so you are now somewhat immune to the waking abilities of the one megaton hammer" Reborn said his thought with annoyance laced in them.

"Then how about this" Reborn once again smiled evilly

Reborn got a rather large pail and filled it with ice cold water from the refrigerator on the first floor's kitchen and then poured out all of its contents unto the soon-to-be-Vongola-Decimo's sleeping form.

Making the brunette very wet from head to toe

Again the expected reaction came, Tsuna sat up, but this time he shivered a little, laid down once again then went back to sleep.

"This is interesting" Reborn's patience is running thin

This time, he got the same pail, filled them with hot boiling water, he prepared earlier, returned to Tsuna's room then poured out its contents

"Hot! Hot!" Tsuna exclaimed as he tried to cool his body. And as if the fulfilling the tenth heir's wishes, cold wind entered Tsuna's room, helping the cooling process, when his body was cool enough, he dragged himself to a dry spot, lied down then slept once more.

For some reason, the windows were already open, Probably Reborn.

"I don't know if I should be amused or be irritated right now" Reborn once again said it loud

Reborn's patience is already close to nonexistence, which means, before he himself could kill the wimpy pathetic heir, he need to resort to this…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

electrocuting the brunette…

He forcefully opened the top of the brunette's pajamas, tearing out the buttons of the said clothing and attached some wires on the developing torso, specifically on the brunette's chest. Yes Tsuna's muscles are developing

He set the voltage high enough to zap the Vongola heir but not high enough to be electrocuted to death

"Ouch! ow! ow! Ow!" shouted Tsuna as he immediately stood up… wide awake

"Reborn!" the brunette exclaimed

"What is it Dame-Tsuna?" the Hitman baby asked, feigning innocence

"Do you know what time it is? It's 4:45 in the morning! Why did you zap me awake? And who in their right mind electrocutes their students just to wake them up!"

"I do" Reborn nonchalantly admitted as he took a sip from his espresso

"… besides you sort of made some immunity to the methods I've used before" the sun arcobaleno continued

"What will you do, if I had died from your stunt earlier?" Tsuna again inquired because he can't retort Reborn's explanation

"You won't, the voltage was set just to wake you up" Reborn answered with ease and once again Tsuna gaped at his tutor's answer

"So why'd you wake me up anyway?" the tenth Vongola heir asked because he has nothing else to say

"Have you forgotten Dame-Tsuna? I'll be going to Italy today and I'll be back by the end of next week, until then, I'm expecting you to get a 95% on your grades by the time I come back" Reborn said as he petted his pet chameleon

"Yaaawn, is that all?" Tsuna, unconsciously wishing for death for what he just did, asked

Reborn jumped and landed roughly on the brunette's head, making the said brunette stumble and land roughly on the wet floor and wet his face from the accumulated water inside his room.

"It is the duty of a mafia boss to escort their tutors to the airport" Reborn nonchalantly said as if he was stating some existing rule

"Hiiiieeee! You totally made that up!" the tenth Vongola heir shrieked

"Wash up and get dressed, my flight is in 6:00 AM"

"Hai, hai" Tsuna said as he groggily stood up and made his way towards the bathroom

**BANG!**

"Do it faster" Reborn said as Leon transformed back into his chameleon form

"Hiiiieeeee!" the brunette once again shrieked as he made a run towards the bathroom

* * *

It is now 7:45 and Tsuna is now running away from a cute little Chihuahua, and since Yamamoto is already at Baseball practice, and both Gokudera and Reborn are still in Italy, in fact Reborn is still on the plane, he no choice but to go to school alone. He does not want to go to school with Ryohei or he might take it the wrong way, like Tsuna 'saw the light' and decided to join the boxing club and Kyoko is always with her oniichan so she's out of the question, Hibari practically lives in Namimori Middle School, the Kokuyo gang is also disqualified that leaves Haru, but she goes to another school.

"Hiiiiiieeeeee!" Dame-Tsuna shouted as he continued running towards the direction of the school while the adorable Chihuahua continues to chase him.

Not too long, he reached the school gates and was surprised to see the dog's pouting face retreating back to his owner's house.

(line break)

"Oh look!" The same black haired boy called out

"It's Dame-Tsuna!" the pony-tailed blackhead shouted

"You're right Akihiko-kun, Nanako-chan" the pigtailed redhead confirmed

"ahahah! Dame-Tsuna and one of his laaaaaaaaa~me entrance! right Kurenai-chan?" The bleached hair guy from before said

"You just had to say it Kanji-kun" the curly blondie said

"He is right, isn't he Yuko-tan?" The red head boy from before asked

"Guys, same plan this afternoon, Yosuke, you're in charge of luring Dame-Tsuna there" Mochida said as he ignored the insults they were throwing at Tsuna, but he looks like he could use an outlet and let out

"Hai!" the group shouted in unison

* * *

Classes started at a normal pace, Tsuna spaced out, Yamamoto is asleep, Hana is taking down notes diligently, Kyoko is also taking down notes and made side glances towards her favorite Dame-boss

**DING DONG DONG DING**

"This is the student council, we need Sawada Tsunayoshi to proceed to the Disciplinary Committee's office right away, Dame-Tsuna go to Hibari-san" The P.A system announced

"ahahaha, I'll accompany you Tsuna" Yamamoto said as he stood up from his chair

"Yamamoto! You are not permitted to accompany Dam-Sawada to the Disciplinary Committee, I'm sure they'll not hurt him" the current teacher of the class assured the rain guardian

"Alright, tell me if something happens alright Tsuna?" the rain guardian said as he discreetly pointed at his left ear, indicating that he wore the earpiece Spanner had made for them

Tsuna just nodded and exited the classroom then headed towards the direction of the office of the Disciplinary Committee.

* * *

And the next thing he knew was black…

* * *

Joke

* * *

Yosuke, who has been Tsuna's classmate since sixth grade, knew most of the brunette's weakness. Yosuke is the redhead boy member of Mochida's gang of bullies

Yosuke had watched the scene unfold before his eyes, a Yamamoto pointing not-so-discreetly towards his left ear and a Dame-Tsuna slightly nodding his head. He got suspicious, he sneaked out of the classroom and saw Dame-Tsuna heading towards the Disciplinary Committee, he followed the no-good brunette then something unexpected happened

* * *

_**CRACK**_

_**BOOM**_

_**CLANG**_

As soon as Tsuna entered Hibari's office, windows shattered, silenced gun shots were heard, meaning the guns were frighteningly close to the brunette.

Ironically, he was in his cloud guardian's discipline office, but the said guardian is absent in his own office.

Meh, probably still has classes to attend

Combined with his intuition's 'danger-alarm' and the obvious situation he was in, he quickly dug his hands unto his pant pockets and attempts to grab his pills.

When his hands grabbed nothing.

"hiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!" Tsuna mentally shrieked

"what do I do, what do I do!" he began to chant in his head when suddenly his intuition warned him of an object that is about to stab him from his rear

He quickly raised an open palm up, grab a hold of the hand that is holding a knife, and through Tsuna's experience, he threw the man, who is much larger than him, to the wall he is facing. Who is by the way wearing all black from head to foot and the only thing visible to Tsuna are the unconscious eyes of the man's face

Soon our favorite Tuna fish is now surrounded by eight different men of different sizes, and all of them wearing the same thing the previous assassin did, and all are large than our favorite No-good hero.

"HIYAAAH!" all eight men shouted in unison, as they performed an 'all-out attack' on the brown-eyed teen.

And thanks to all of his previous battles, Tsuna's physical reflexes leveled up, so he began by grabbing the man in front of him and tossed the assassin towards his right making those three on his right to stop in their tracks and attempt to catch their flying comrade, well the end result was all of them ungracefully fell down and lied on the floor in weird angles.

He turned and faced the remaining four on his left and began dodging the knife thrusts that are dangerously about to kill him.

When a knife just stopped inches away from his face, he grabbed the man's arm and twisted it then kicked the man towards his fellow assassins, and the end result was like the four assassins earlier who are still unconscious and are lying down in weird angles.

He then briefly noticed an eerie red dot on the wall in front of him that is dangerously moving close towards his shadow.

He picked a pen that is lying innocently beside one of the assassins, hurried towards the window and threw it with amazing power and accuracy, something Dame-Tsuna should not be able to do.

**CLAP CLAP CLAP**

Clapping sounds were heard on the window of the discipline committee

"and here I thought, I needed to interfere" A squeakily familiar voice rings to the Vongola-heir's ears

"Lal Mirch?"

"Considering that you would know my voice than anyone else during your training with my future self, I'm not surprised Sawada" Lal said as she jumped towards the office floors

"but…" the baby girl jumped towards Tsunas head and began to slap him to oblivion

"even Colonello can beat them blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back in less than a minute! Obviously, you still need more training" She said as she continued to slap the poor brunette.

After a minute or two, the sadistic female baby let up walked a few paces away from the brunette

"Calm down Lal, he was caught off guard, and his pills and gloves were not with him this time kora" Colonello said as he arrived through the window, flying, with the help of his pet bird of course

"Exactly my point Colonello! He relies way too much on the gloves and pills that Leon made for him."

"Hiiiieeee! Colonello! What are you doing here?!" The present normal-sized brunette shrieked

"Lal and I will be training you Kora!" Colonello informed in his usual manner then he proceeded to kick the brunette towards the wall

"Definitely more sadistic than Reborn! Hiiiee!" Tsuna mentally shrieked

"Someone's coming!" Lal's senses noticed

"Can you use your mist flames to hide these people here? Kora!" Colonello asked

She then proceeded to concentrate and then put an illusion inside the room.

* * *

_**CRACK**_

…

_**CLANG**_

The sounds of breaking windows were heard through the hallways of Nami-chuu, as soon as Yosuke saw Dame-Tsuna enter the office.

"That can't be right, I was supposed to lure him towards the alleyway were the gang was supposed to meet up" Yosuke wondered as he hurried towards the office, well he is not running, but is walking faster

_**THUD**_

"Poor Dame-Tsuna, even the Disciplinary committee hates his guts, not very surprising though considering that he is Dame-Tsuna" the red-head mentally summarized as he walked even faster to the office of the committee, curious on what sorry state Dame-Tsuna is in now.

_**CREAK**_

Yosuke opened the sliding door, separating the hallway and the room Yosuke is about to enter then his mouth hanged open as he saw the state the room was in.

Books were scattered everywhere, A shirtless blond male is lying in in a way deemed impossible by many, a Dame-Tsuna right beside the unconscious blondie and an untidy female, in a nurse uniform, greeted his eyes.

and there were no broken windows nor glass shards that greeted his eyes after he opened the door

"Ara, Yosuke-kun, what perfect timing!" A female busty nurse in her wrinkled white uniform greeted Yosuke

"Ki-Kiritsugu-Kiritsugu-sensei, why are you here!"

"I was asked by Boreen-sensei to find some files in the committee that is why I asked Tsuna-kun to head here and try to help me. then a stranger walked inside then started groping me" The busty nurse identified as Kiritsugu said as she pointed towards a shirtless man lying in a weird angle twenty paces away from a lying Tsuna

"then Tsunayoshi-kun here decided give the pervert a lesson, but the perverted monster just kicked him towards the bookshelf and then I snapped… well then I guess you know what happened next" she continued as she proceeded to carry the unconscious brunette and handed him to the redhead

"Take Tsunayoshi-kun to the Nurse's office, if you see Shamal-sensei, just tell him 'hamaguri', he'll know what to do" she instructed

"Hai sensei" Yosuke proceeded to do a fireman's carry on Dame-Tsuna and proceeded to the clinic as what was instructed of him.

* * *

**OMAKE:**

"Someone's coming" Lal's sensitive hearing picked up

"Can you use your mist flames to cover everything here?" Colonello said as he pointed towards the glass shards scattered inside the room

"HIIEEE!" Tsuna shrieked as he panicked and thought of ways not to involve someone from his school

"HIIEEE! What do I do, what do I do!" Tsuna chanted as he pulled his brown hair, in a sad attempt to think of some ideas

Both COMSUBIN infants watched the future heir in amusement as they thought

"Still denying it huh?"

"WHAT DO I DO! HIIIEEE!" the brunette continued his chant

Amusement turned into irritation, and after a minute or two, both super-powered infants snapped

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" both sadistic babies kicked the shrieking brunette, which sent the brunette flying towards a bookcase and

_**THUD**_

Tsuna blacked out

"I think we might've overdone it" Colonello muttered.

Lal then grabbed ahold of Colonello's collar then kicked him towards the same bookcase, then landed a good twenty paces away from the now unconscious brunette.

Then she casted the illusion, Colonello's body disappeared, it was then replaced a shirtless blond man, with the same hairstyle as Colonello, the assassins' bodies turned into different books, same with the scattered glass shards.

Lal's figure disappeared, she was then replaced by someone who will be identified later as Kiritsugu-sensei

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I am aware that I have a very dry sense of humor, so just bear with me...**

**anyways, this is the second chapter... since many of you have been requesting for the second chapter.. sooo here it is... I hope I didn't disappoint any of you... **

**Read and Review guys...**


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